African American girl having fun while sitting on the table at home and playing trumpet.
Some managers are hard on their people because they’re also hard on themselves. They’re always thinking, “I should’ve done that better” or “What a dummy I am, forgetting that detail.” Unfortunately, poor self-expectations sometimes can influence others’ perceptions. It’s not easy to be around people who are constantly putting themselves down or second-guessing themselves. It would be better if they occasionally caught themselves doing something right.
When you catch yourself doing things right, everything in your life will improve—especially your relationships. Why? Because it’s fun to be around people who like themselves. After all, if you’re not your own best friend, who will be? And as my dad used to say, “If you don’t toot your own horn, others might use it as a spittoon!”
Here’s how to make this commonsense truth common practice:
When someone says something nice to you or does something nice for you, accept it graciously. Allowing people to catch you doing something right makes both you and the other person feel good.
- If someone praises your work, don’t say “Yes, but . . .” Instead, tell them you appreciate their noticing.
- Along the same lines, when someone pays you a compliment, simply smile and say “Thank you.” Don’t downplay the compliment or disagree with them—that’s like telling the person they don’t have good judgment or aren’t very smart.
If you find yourself always giving credit to others for their good efforts—although there’s nothing wrong with that—remember that a little self-praise doesn’t hurt. So go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back once in a while! “It’s Okay to Toot Your Own Horn” is Simple Truth #17 in the new book I’ve coauthored with Randy Conley, Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways to Be a Servant Leader and Build Trust. It’s on sale now at your favorite bookstore or online retailer. Go here to download an eBook summary for a preview!