I believe the biggest addiction problem in the workplace today is the human ego. When people operate from their ego, their behavior tends to be based on fear rather than trust. When people behave out of fear, they have a high need to control others and their environment and they have a win-lose orientation toward […]
Resolving Conflict A Matter of Asking the Right Questions
Whenever two people quarrel, inevitably they focus on who is right and who is wrong. Playing the “I’m right, you’re not” game is a sure way for people to push away from each other even further. If there is a history of disagreements, this mindset will cause even the slightest spat to become a rehash […]
Evaluating Partnerships
A lot of people ask me for advice about partnerships. Many will tell me about a “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” that a friend or associate has shared with them and asked if they’d like to participate. Often, the opportunity involves either investing a significant amount of time or money, or a dramatic shift into a new career […]
Be as good to your loved ones as you are to strangers
At the ASTD conference in Chicago recently, Colleen Barrett made a really interesting point in the session we did together. She said at Southwest, they want to make sure that their customer service is as good internally as it is externally. They believe in the Golden Rule—treating people the way you would like to be […]
Season of Service
In San Diego we’re in the middle of a six-month “Season of Service” movement with businesses, civic agencies, and churches all pitching in with community volunteers to serve others. For years I’ve been dreaming about how we can make San Diego a servant leadership town – how in the near future people will come here […]
What’s Most Important Now?
Jim Steffen was a graduate student of ours at U. Mass. He wrote a book called Aligned Thinking and has been helping us work through some of his way of thinking. The most important concept Jim talks about is MIN—which is “Most Important Now.” He says that the way you really enjoy life the most […]
Live Life in the Present
Have you ever noticed how you can look forward to something for so long, and then all of a sudden it’s upon you, and then it’s gone? I think that should teach us that life is to be lived one day at a time, and in the present. My friend Spencer Johnson had a great […]
Don’t be Fascinated by Your Own Words
I’ve written previously about Charles Handy, a friend of mine who’s a great management thinker from England. During one of his presentations he said, “Most of you are not going to remember much what I say in this session, but I will remember everything. The person who learns the most is the one who speaks […]
Leadership as an Influence Process
Occasionally Margie and I lead a couples’ workshop that lasts a day and a half. It’s really interesting—you might say, “What does leadership training have to do with couples in a marriage relationship?” It is such a powerful thing, we found out, because as a lot of you know, we define leadership as an influence […]
Doing Things Right
I have been thinking about how important it is to be caught doing things right. Some people think you have to be careful; you don’t want to praise people too much, because they’re going to get a big head. People don’t get a big head by getting caught doing things right. People get false pride […]